Eharmony Smarmony

Still single and still teaching. These are facts that have not changed since my absence from blogdom. I know. I had barely even revved my engines, but this year I ACTUALLY have things to talk about that I feel are worth mentioning, now isn’t that nice of me?? I’m not just going to sit around typing and boring your eyes to death.


You’re welcome.

The topic tonight: Eharmony.

Biggest waste of money EVER.

And yet I still remain on it…

I suppose it is because I don’t want to waste my money by quitting even though I already did by purchasing. I mean really. All the good-looking men never send me any kind of communication, and I get communications out the WAZOO from men who take pictures with their cats or random stuffed animal pigs or even, yes, their mothers and you may think that’s a good thing, but not when you see how they are holding their mothers. And why would you ever, ever, EVER want to put a picture up of you as a young child in the early 80s?? WHY? All I see is your father sitting next to you and think: that is what I have to look forward to?? Yikes.

Awful isn’t it?!

And by 'it' I mean my attitude.

Call me petty and spiteful, but...

Eh.  I'm petty and spiteful.
Fact.

But, come on. If I’m going to be wasting my money I might as well be sharing the experience with the few of you who actually read this.

If any of you do anymore that is…

COME BACK! I WON’T LEAVE YOU AGAIN!!

Good news is, I have a brand new set of students this year, 76 so far, and they’ve already proven most entertaining. Between the table throwing, the tears a-flowing, and the modge podging so much in my room I literally almost passed out on a student, I think it’s going to be a productive year.

Yep.

Stay tuned.

3 comments:

eHarmony_jack said...

Sorry that you have not had a positive eHarmony experience to date. But I wanted to let you know that we are hear to help. Whenever you have questions or concerns, you our Customer Care team is available 24/7 from our FAQs page: http://help-singles.eharmony.com.

We also have a free Advice site where you can find articles and discussion focused on supporting our members success. Also, to help improve their rate of communication, members can request and have really benifitted from profile reviews by fellow eHarmony members: http://bit.ly/9yK7ia

For some inspiration and an opportunity to interact with and be mentored by a successful eHarmony member, I encourage you to visit our Face book wall: http://www.facebook.com/eharmony.

Last, but not least, you reach me on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/eharmony_jack I'm always happy to answer questions and provide support.

I hope that you will give us an opportunity to help you have a more positive eHarmony experience, and I wish you all the best with your search.

Sincerely,

Jack

Kelly H said...

Wow, Jack. I understand you have well meaning intentions, but seriously? A plug for eHarmony in every paragraph?

This is incredibly awkward and it makes me wonder how you found this blog.

Padre said...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! That is TOOO much!!!!!!!!! Sheesh!! I wonder how much eHarmony pays Google or Blogspot.com for finding out when a person has typed "eharmony"? And the misspelling of "here" as "hear" to an English teacher...? Faux pas. I think eHarmony needs a lesson in tact and sensitivity.

As to the dating scene, Miss Shakespeare, you are a beautiful, talented, funny, intelligent woman. Hang tight. The right guy will show up. Sending you prayers from CA. :)

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